


Shadow on the wall

by Issay



Series: Portraits [2]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Headcanon, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:19:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1411324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Issay/pseuds/Issay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She won't be alone on the roads of her exile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadow on the wall

**Author's Note:**

> I realize that Milady is not a popular character and Milady/Athos - most definitely not the most popular pairing in this fandom. But as I prefer more psychological approach - it's bloody interesting.  
> Please, be advised: possibly triggering content (loss of a child).

If she were one of those romantic, modern women she would have said that he was her alpha and omega, her beginning and end at the same time. That he was her guiding light that she always would see in the end, no matter where and how deep the darkness would be. Athos would be everywhere she turns, be it in person or only in her memories. At the back of her head. In her soul and conscience. A shadow on the wall.  
 She is not one of those women.  
  
But it does not really change anything. He haunts her. She knows the scent of his skin and knows how his stubble feels when he kisses. She knows every line on that beloved, deeply hated face. Her body still remembers the touch of his hands and pleasure he used to give her along with care and love and comfort. She almost finds it funny – he is so far away, in Paris, and yet he can still destroy her. She is an assassin and one that is hunted by Cardinal's people at that. It is important she does not have any visible weaknesses – and every time her mind goes back to the days of light and love, days that smelled like flowers he brought her, she is shaken to the sheer core of her being. She wishes she could be like one of these women in Ninon's salon. One that was not ruled by men.  
Milady has always been a toy in strong male hands. Pretty little girl taught on the streets of a big city how to steal. Perfect pickpocket. A decoy. A temptress. Young, intelligent woman who craved more than drunken men without honor and so much more than smoky taverns and dark back alleys. So when one day she literally stumbled upon one – he won his duel but got wounded in the process, his leg gave in the middle of the street – she jumped on the occasion. She used her pretty blue shawl to temporarily dress the wound and made sure he made it home.  
  
He asked her to stay.  
She did. Without as much as a glance behind.  
  
And for two years she had it all. It was never about the money, no – she would fall in love with him even if he was a peasant (but she thanks God he was not. Women like her are not created to be poor). A good, honorable man, honest and loving. And she had him. She would give him children and grow old with him because with him she got it all – light and blue sky and flowers on her pillow every morning.  
Her two years had ended bloody and abruptly. Just like her previous life called for her. You cannot escape from your past, even if you run and never look back. She never believed that. But then his brother was dead and the only thing she could think about was that her past came knocking.  
She always has been bloody lucky. Maybe not honest or honorable, but always lucky. So she survived the noose and then the heartbreak. Loss of a child she never knew she had. Loss of a future she longed for.  
  
And as she lay, feverish and barely alive, she promised herself that no other man would ever have power over her again. Not because she was angry – she could not be angry with Athos, not really. She could fake it and make life easier for herself. But in the middle of the night, in its darkest hour when there is no place for lies, she knew that she would, no, could not survive all that again.  
So she prepared herself. Carefully placed money and other resources in different parts of the country, prepared ways of escape and routes away from France. She was prepared, yes. So when Cardinal's plans were out in the open and the ground was burning underneath her feet, she was calm. There were only two ways out of this.  
Death or escape.  
She would accept either one of them happily.  
  
The truth they never tell you about villains is that they are broken people with nothing to live for. So they take dreams and plans of others and live for them.  
And then Athos frees her. Athos, with cold, unforgiving face and broken look in his eyes.  
  
She smiles.  
For she will never be alone on her roads of exile. Her shadow on the wall will always be there with her.

**Author's Note:**

> I made this part of a series, along with the piece I wrote some time ago about Anne. I have more ideas but it would be great to hear from you if I should continue the series :)


End file.
